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| Albert Anker (1832-1910) Farmer reading in Bed |
It's not just whats in your home that makes it cozy, but what is not in our homes. There are things we need to keep OUT of our homes to keep our peace. You cannot have a cozy home without peace. Here are some thoughts on how to fill your home with peace so you can be present and enjoy your home life.
1. UNIFORMS
Uniforms are a way to make a decision once. It makes things so much easier when you don't have to make 1,000 decisions everyday. Maybe you can get it down to 500 decisions. I use uniforms for lots of things. For example, our breakfast is always oatmeal. Our lunch is always a sandwich. If we are traveling or doing errands, I always pack a PBJ sandwich, pretzels and water bottles. I always make Mr. Peasant a yellow cake with chocolate icing for his birthday. For my birthday, I always eat pizza and drink root beer. I have a uniform of seasonal decorations, beauty and household products, a handful of dinner recipes, and even our prayers have a schedule. We have been wearing the same clean church outfits every weekend since Mr. Peasant's accident. We are literally the Smurfs, and I don't care.
2. MINIMUMS
Our culture is always screaming about the need for excellence. In our home, we are constantly confronted with limitations. I am a strong advocate for setting minimums. What are the main things you must get done in order to keep the peace, the cleanliness, the order, the joy, and the romance alive in your home? Sit down and really think. For me. I have to clean the toilets everyday. and I go through our mail as soon as it arrives. Before bed, I want to pray a rosary, make coffee, and not leave any dirty dishes in the sink. I like to watch a movie at home once a week for our date night. I absolutely must make it to Mass every weekend (no excuses) and Holy Days of Obligation. I have no use for creating plans for the optimal dream week and then failing miserably. When I plan out my minimums, I know what I need to focus on that will give me the highest rate of return. There is joy in setting yourself up to win.
3. ROUTINES
Most of my routines were created with the help of the FlyLady system. It has helped me keep a cleaner home. I don't have to think about cleaning, I just follow a schedule. I cannot say enough wonderful things about the system. I have a very simple morning and evening routine. I spend an hour cleaning the high traffic areas once a week. It's also important to schedule some fun. Every Friday night, watch a movie with your spouse at home. Quality time is just as important as the practical stuff. Be sure to put it on the calendar and guard it.
4. SAYING NO
I am begging you to start saying no. It is not ugly, unkind, lazy, or inconsiderate to say the word no. It took me 30 years to learn this. Now, I can't stop saying no. When someone is upset that you said no, it's usually because they don't want to do it either. This is a guilt spiral. It happens a lot in churches, work places, families, and groups of friends. It is easier to take back a no than a yes.
Say no to expensive or elaborate expressions of love such as gifts and fancy dinners. It's the thought that counts. Say no to extra church events. Once you get roped in, it's hard to get out. It's not required of you to do anything other than go and worship the Lord at Mass. Say no to traditions that are too hard. I finally gave up attending midnight Mass for Christmas and Easter Vigil. I LOVE Easter Vigil Mass, but I refuse to drive late at night anymore. It's a removable stress. Even though I've always done it, I'm okay with giving it up and choosing peace for the holidays.
Say no to dry clean only clothes, hard to clean appliances, fancy hair styles, and landscaping designs.
5. DO THINGS LESS OFTEN
I get my hair cut once or twice a year. When I go to Great Clips ($17.00) I get 5 inches cut off. I make it count. Make meals for dinner that you can eat on for many days. That gives you a few days where you can just heat up dinner. Go to the grocery store once every two weeks. This forces us to use up more of what we already have, and I don't have to waste time and mental energy on the grocery store. Buy extra stamps, toilet paper, shampoo, and batteries. If you have extras you aren't forced to rush out to the store as often. Wash only full loads of clothes. Don't water your plants when it's forecast to rain. Stop wasting time.
6. MAKE THINGS EASY
I have two vegan biscuit recipes. One uses almond milk. You roll out the dough and cut the biscuits. The other vegan biscuit recipe uses water only, and you drop the dough. I have decided to declutter the almond milk recipe. I know that for me it is easier to make the drop biscuits and to not have to worry about having milk. It's also cheaper. I have done the same thing with pancakes. I picked one recipe that uses water and simple ingredients we always have on hand. Are there any substitutions you can make in your day to make it easier for you? Get rid of the complicated recipes with 15 special ingredients that you never have. Get rid of recipes that are super expensive or take forever to make. Use a boxed cake or cookie mix. Get an air fryer or an electric kettle. Use a stick vacuum instead of a broom. Sometimes, appliances can make life easier!
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| Lincoln as a boy reading at night, Eastman Johnson 1868 |
I also encourage you to get rid of the things that make you feel bad and clutter up your mind. These are things that make you feel sad or bad such as bad mementos like letters from an ex-boyfriend, old CDs that remind you of sad times, gifts you didn't like and feel guilty about, and fantasy self items from when you were younger. Mr. Peasant and I finally had to admit that we weren't ever going to learn Spanish even though we had books, a dictionary and even a CD ROM program (yep, that old.) After the twenty years having this stuff and saying we wanted to learn Spanish because it would be good for job opportunities, we finally decluttered them. We admitted that learning Spanish wasn't a priority anymore. What types of fantasy self stuff can you let go of today? What crafts, books, clothes, or equipment can you declutter? It's okay to not be the same person you were in high school. It's okay to not have any interest in things that you used to be interested in. We change and grow and like new things.
8. LIVING BELOW YOUR MEANS
There can be no peace when you are worried about bills. There is only one surefire way to have financial peace. There is only one way that YOU can control your financial future, and that's living below your means. I know. I know. It sucks. It's not sexy. But let's be realistic. Hoping for a raise next year is not a financial plan. There are two mindsets that I think can help. The first is to think of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. Think of them in that fowl smelling stable. Think of the humility of our Lord in the manger. And yet, you must think of them as happy. Money doesn't buy happiness. There are so many rich people that are miserable.
The second mindset is to try to be easy to please. Try to have small desires. Don't get caught up in the diva, princess, extravagant culture. All of this is vanity. This world has nothing to offer. I have been poor my whole life. I want and need very little to make me happy. Not being in debt makes me happy. Being able to pay my bills makes me happy. Our budget for fun and wants is very very slim--almost zero. And yet, we are very content. We like to watch Perry Mason on Pluto. We don't spend money on streaming or subscriptions of any kind. We rarely eat out. We never go on vacations because we aren't trying to escape from our peaceful life. We love our simple quiet life. We don't even get each other lavish gifts. I usually get a two dollar box of chocolates for Valentine's Day and a handmade anniversary card. Try to be simple in your wants. Want peace. Choose peace. Pay off debts. Save and own things outright. Try to be a helper to your husband and be simple. Have gratitude instead of wants.
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| Évariste Carpentier - Sleeping shepherdess 1882 |
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