Loving What You Already Have. Why Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

Inger Johanne gets her head stuck in the fence. 1919. Florence Liley Young

Comparison is the Death of Joy.

MARK TWAIN

I waste a lot of time looking at what other people are doing. I spend way more time doing this than I ever have before. I watch what they are cooking, crafting, painting, decorating, gardening, and doing for exercise. I look at their homes, clothes, kitchens, chapel veils, books, flower beds, and even what they eat for dinner. It seems like everyone online is screaming, "Look at me, look at what I bought, look what I am doing." I am typically happy with what I am doing and what I own. I am grateful for what God has given us. But after watching someone's life, I find myself desiring a new variety of tomato seed, a book, or a skirt she was wearing. 

I think one of the loudest distractions of our times is the huge pool of comparison.  It is exhausting. I see over the top things from cupcakes to skincare routines. I used to compare myself to people in my class at school or the kids on my block or co workers. Real life comparison is hard enough. Now, you can compare yourself to everyone in the whole world. You can see the most perfectly clean homes, the highest standards of excellence in meals, art, time management, and even holiness. I went from comparisons of a handful of my real life peers (local and economically) to comparing myself to the best of the best. Why do I judge myself by the same standards of the very wealthy and professionals? 

Vanity is a big temptation. It is hard to watch all the amazingly creative, beautiful, and luxurious people. It can sow discontentment. The currency of today is clicks. They are chasing ever more amazing accomplishments to get your attention. It is important to remind yourself that real life isn't perfect. I remind myself that I love what I already have.

I love my 90s laminate counter tops, and I love the fake wood grained vinyl sheet flooring in the bedroom. I love my dingy and imperfect furniture. My sofa has bricks stacked under it to keep the middle from sagging. This is real life. I love my plain fare food and clothing. 

Reasons why it's easy to love what you already have:

1. It's free! It costs nothing, and it's effortless. 

2. They are full of memories and comfort.

3. You already know how to use and clean it.

4. It saves you time and energy acquiring something new. 

5. Since it isn't perfect, you don't have to worry about ruining it. 

The floors in our house are very noisy. The creaking of the floors used to drive me nuts. One day, I read the comments on an old New England House Facebook group. The words they used to describe the old houses were SO different than how I was describing my imperfect 2000s house. They described the flaws of the homes lovingly with words like:  charming, comfortable, warm, weathered, quaint, time worn, rustic, aged, traditional, cozy, lived in, functional, homely, and full of character.

When we first moved into our house, we had the wood floors refinished. I remember getting upset after noticing the chair feet slowly scraped the finish off. Then, I thought differently. I decided to think of all the meals we've eaten at this table. That's a lot of pulling chairs up to the table and a lot of love. Long after we're gone, these worn floors will show that we lived here. It's a sign of a lot of moments we've shared. 

The old house lovers describe all their homes imperfections as giving "the place character.".Maybe we could change the words we use about what God has already given us. I want to be like Linus with his blanket-- perfectly happy with what he's got. Let's count our blessings. Thank you for reading and God bless you.

On the Fence. Winslow Homer 1878

But godliness with contentment is great gain.

For we brought nothing into this world: 

and certainly we can carry nothing out.

But having food, and wherewith to be covered, 

with these we are content.

For they that will become rich, fall into temptation, 

and into the snare of the devil, 

and into many unprofitable and hurtful desires, 

which drown men into destruction and perdition.

For the desire of money is the root of all evils; 

which some coveting have erred from the faith, 

and have entangled themselves in many sorrows.

But thou, O man of God, fly these things: 

and pursue justice, godliness, faith, 

charity, patience, mildness.

1 TIMOTHY 6:6